So Here's The Thing

Three days of working out. I mean working out. Planks. Walking, sprints. Calculating every mother f-ing thing that goes in my mouth. It's on and I am serious. I am surprising myself at how well I am doing. A plank? A push up? Never. Who am I? But there you go. Cooking with coconut oil. Measuring. No mindless eating. If you don't log it you don't eat it. I feel great. I am sore but it's a good store. Its better than being sore from being sedentary. So the journey continues.

Failing to plan means you're going to fail or something like that? I know when I don't have things planned out it all goes out the window. I grab things that aren't great for me. I need structure. Support. I need someone to check in on me. A coach? A mentor? A leader? A parent? A friend? This is where Team Flores comes in. He is a rock star and the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. She is a goddess and as smart as she is pretty. I am blessed to have them in my corner. I can't fail. They won't let me and there is no reason that I will.

Here is the beginning. Here is where I am starting from. Step one.

How many things have I tried? I can't count. Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Diet Soup, Metabalife, Herbalife, Body by Vi, so much money. No real pounds lost on any of them. Oh and the work out DVD's (even the VHS) I have. The only thing that ever worked was when I stopped eating completely when I was a junior in high school. I ate one meal a day dinner with my parents because there was no getting around that the rest of the day I chewed gum. I had headaches, I was sleepy but I was skinny. 118 lbs. Size 4. I was happy. Boys looked at me finally. Shopping was fun. Things looked good on me. I worked out twice a day so I could eat lunch and dinner but just a little and no soda, GOD no soda! Water I remember a soda every now and then to keep up my energy. Mostly ice tea. So here I am 45. 100lbs heavier. How did I get here? Busy. Lazy. Age. How many pieces of cake have I eaten over the years? Can I be done with cake now? How many piece of bread? Candy? Oh the cadbury eggs. Ho...

2 pounds. Up 2 pounds. How on earth? If anything I am eating less. Its that damn treadmill. I am walking and my body is freaking out. She's moving we gotta store fat. Thanks stupid body. And here is where it sits in. Here is where the towel gets thrown in. The thoughts spiral out of control. I'll never get this. Give up. Let it go. Or maybe I'll just keep walking and lifting weights because it feels good and I think I like it. Does it matter if the scale isn't moving? I mean really? Isn't it about being healthy and strong? About moving my body. About taking some time out to just zone out and a treadmill? Work up a sweat on a weight machine. So maybe this time I am looking at it all a little bit differently.

Take the leap. Go vegan. Add more veggies. I have this idea.... I am scared. Like a pool of cold cold water. I I am going to attempt to cook up this little number and see how it goes. Kitchari Recipe Ingredients 1/2 cup Basmati Rice 1 cup Mung Dal (split yellow) 6 cups (approx.) Water 1/2 to 1 inch Ginger Root, chopped or grated a bit of Mineral Salt (1/4 tsp. or so) 2 tsp. Ghee 1/2 tsp. Coriander Powder 1/2 tsp. Cumin Powder 1/2 tsp. Whole Cumin Seeds 1/2 tsp. Mustard Seeds 1/2 tsp. Turmeric Powder 1 pinch Asafoetida (Hing) Handful Fresh Cilantro Leaves 1 and 1/2 cups Assorted Vegetables (optional) Kitchari means mixture, usually of two grains. This is one kitchari recipe that is particularly nourishing and easy to digest. Please note the options below for some alternatives. Options Vegetables such as zucchini, asparagus, sweet potato For Vata or Kapha conditions: add a pinch of ginger powder For Pitta: leave out the mustard seeds Preparation Carefully pick...

Cake. There was just.so.much.cake. Birthday parties and cake is my weakness. I have read all the things to do to tell yourself. But I failed. Failed them all and ate all the cake. So it's Monday morning and I swear I am still full. I have blood work I have to fast for so no coffee, no breakfast this am. I need to get rid of all that sugar. It's a new Monday, a new week. Some rain fell so it's all fresh and clean, new start. All that frosting is gone. Lets do this.

I spent today with Dominic's grandmother and grandfather. They are both 97 years old have been married over 70 years. He has Alzheimer's and lives in the memory care unit and she has a one bedroom apt down the hall in an assisted living community. It's a great place such a caring staff and it's clean but it's not home. It's the best but it's not home. Grandpa is sad, scared and confused and misses his wife and probably most of his life. It left with a a lump in my heart. I vow to visit them as much as I can. It's hard to visit, it's hard to say good bye when you must go but I want to help make these last days of their lives filled with family and happiness and things to look forward to. I have an uncle that passed from Alzheimers so is it in my family? I don't know. What can I do to lower my risk? To know the signs? To help find a cure. We need better ways to help patients and I see so many similarities between my work with children with aut...

Cardio may be the worst thing you can do if you are trying to lose fat, according to recent studies. In fact, if you want to gain weight, you should get on the treadmill or go out for a nice slow jog. Hopping on an elliptical trainer to do simple cardio, without turning it high-intensity, may be contributing toward making you fat, according to recent studies. (Photo by Cyrus McCrimmon, The Denver Post) Hopping on an elliptical trainer to do simple cardio, without turning it high-intensity, may be contributing toward making you fat, according to recent studies. (Photo by Cyrus McCrimmon, The Denver Post) Several new studies show that long and boring cardio workouts actually sabotage your body’s natural ability to burn ugly belly fat. Crazy right? Think about it…if you’re fed up and tired of not getting the results you want from your current workout, then keep reading. This cutting-edge research is going to change your life! For years we have been led to believe that to lose fat you n...

So here's the thing. I am a size 18 or an XXL. I am done with it. Over it. I see cute things but they don't look cute on me or don't come in my size. Places I want to shop don't have my size. So what did I do today to get closer to this goal. I downloaded Myfitnesspal and logged most of what I ate. Nothing like half assing something right? That's how I got this whole ass by half assing way too many things. UGH!

What will I do with the next 14000 days of my life? Continue to unhappily live in a size 18 pants that are too snug? My mind will say "hey lets go for a walk, or a swim" and I just don't seem to get out the door. What in the world is my problem? I am 45 years old. What is the second half of my life going to be like? Am I going to live with the 200's on the scale? Eating brownies and ice cream and candy?