Afraid.

How many things have I tried? I can't count. Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Diet Soup, Metabalife, Herbalife, Body by Vi, so much money. No real pounds lost on any of them. Oh and the work out DVD's (even the VHS) I have. The only thing that ever worked was when I stopped eating completely when I was a junior in high school. I ate one meal a day dinner with my parents because there was no getting around that the rest of the day I chewed gum. I had headaches, I was sleepy but I was skinny. 118 lbs. Size 4. I was happy. Boys looked at me finally. Shopping was fun. Things looked good on me. I worked out twice a day so I could eat lunch and dinner but just a little and no soda, GOD no soda! Water I remember a soda every now and then to keep up my energy. Mostly ice tea. So here I am 45. 100lbs heavier. How did I get here? Busy. Lazy. Age. How many pieces of cake have I eaten over the years? Can I be done with cake now? How many piece of bread? Candy? Oh the cadbury eggs. How much soda? The bigger the better. Diet soda. Killing me. So my friend and her husband are starting a new venture. They are rockstars. So smart. So nice. So they are going to take me on journey. 12 weeks. What can I do in 12 weeks? What can I learn? What can I change? I am excited but I am scared. Honestly, I am mostly scared. What am I afraid of? .... that I will fail. Again. I just can't fail again. So I am all in.

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